Correção de redação em inglês (3)

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?

There is a phrase that say: “children’s place is in school”. The majority people think thus. And it is right because the children need learn to read and write. Although children also need to play to develop your relationship with other children.
A child that begin go to school at early age and spend most of your time studying until the teenage, probably had little time to play. Can says that their infancy was lost. Of course with this the child might learn more than others, but your social skills usually are not as developed, in other words, they will be timid people. Other important point, when the child plays little or not play, run the risk of being sedentary, increase the probably to stay obese and consequently develop health problems, like cholesterol, diabetes, heart diseases, etc.
In other hand, children that play with other kids or with your parents, develop skills which help their to express among people and show ideas. But only play is not recommended because the kids need go to school for to be prepared for the future.
In my point of view, it is necessary equilibrate the time for school studies and plays. Because with this equilibrium is the best manner to prepare children for the school life and the future.

Por favor, atribuem uma nota de 0 a 10!!
MENSAGEM PATROCINADA Para aprender mais sobre os Tempos Verbais baixe agora o: Guia Grátis de Tempos Verbais em Inglês. Ele contém um resumo bem estruturado para revisar os conceitos que você aprendeu na escola.

Clique aqui e saiba como baixar!
Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49115 21 73 1138
Algumas sugestões de correção dentro do que o contexto permite avaliar:

There is a saying that goes like this:“school is the right place for children”. Most people agree with that. And it is right because children need to learn to read and write. Although children also need to play to develop their relationship with other children.
A child that begins to go to school at an early age and spends most of his or her time studying until the teenage, probably had little time to play. You can say that their infancy was lost. Of course with this the child might learn more than others, but his or her social skills usually are not as developed, in other words, they will be timid people. Other important point, when the child plays little or does not play, he or she runs the risk of being sedentary, increase the probably to stay obese and consequently develop health problems, like cholesterol, diabetes, heart diseases, etc.
On the other hand, children that play with other kids or with their parents, develop skills which help their to express among people and show ideas. But only play is not recommended because the kids need go to school for to be prepared for the future.
In my point of view, it is necessary to balance the time for school studies and plays. Because this balance is the best manner to prepare children for school life and the future.