Correção: Pedido para participar de disciplina

Dear Dr. Merino,

My name is Paula Suleiman and I concluded the undergraduated in Biological Sciences from Univesidade Federal de Viçosa- UFV in 2011. In 2013, I obtained the Master’s degree in Ecology and Natural Resouces at the same institution.
I have been working with feeding habits of Trichiurus lepturus in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, since 2011. Now I intent developed studies with with isotopic compostions of this specie and its feeding items associated with local ecological knowledge of fishermen involved. My interest is based on the lack of information about this issue in the Rio de Janeiro state.
Recently I have been following his work and I see that you offers a discipline about patterns of isotopic composition in marine organisms. The discipline structure and the subjects of study are very interesting for development of my project, for this reason, I would like to know the possibility of I signing up for your discipline.
I look forward to hearing from you.

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Avatar do usuário Artful Dodger 4500 6 13 103
Dear Dr. Merino,

My name is Paula Suleiman and I majored in Biological Sciences at Univesidade Federal de Viçosa (UFV), in 2011. In 2013, I earned a Master’s degree in Ecology and Natural Resouces at the same institution.

I have been working with the feeding habits of (1)Trichiurus lepturus in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, since 2011. Now I intend to develop studies with with isotopic compositions of this (2) species and its feeding habits, in association with the (3) ecological knowledge of the local fishermen involved. My interest is based on the lack of information about this issue in the Rio de Janeiro state.

Recently, I have been following your work and I see that you offer a discipline (4) regarding the patterns of isotopic composition in marine organisms. The discipline structure and the subjects of study are very interesting for the development of my project. For this reason, I would like to know if I may sign up for your discipline.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Correction key:
Italic: not necessarily wrong, but it probably did not sound good the way it was originally written.
Bold: problems with grammar, vocabulary or spelling.

Observations:
(1) Shouldn't the scientific name be written in Italics or in bold?
(2) Both the singular and the plural are spelled the same way: species.
(3) Is local an adjective qualifying the ecological knowledge or the fishermen? If it is, you should leave it as was it was originally written; otherwise, consider making the change I suggested.
(4) Once your message was aimed at a college professor, I made some purely stylistic suggestions. Feel free to follow them or not.
Cheers!
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Avatar do usuário Artful Dodger 4500 6 13 103
I noticed that my third observation might not have been clear, so here follows a correction:

(3) Is local an adjective qualifying ecological knowledge or the fishermen? If it relates to the first expression, you should leave it as was it was originally written; if it relates to the second one, consider making the change I suggested.

I suppose that now you will be able to actually understand what I meant. :)

Cheers!