Correção de texto "buying a pet"

Jeffsuporte
Esse texto só precisa ser editado em algumas partes, o problema é que eu não estou acertando a concordância, as partes que precisam ser alteradas, estão entre: <word>.

Qualquer ajuda será bem vinda, olha o texto:


Actually, the most perfect pet for me is the dog. They are cute, loving and very extroverted. Also, they won't destroy your house if you leave them alone, and make them feel very angry.

The first day that I <came> to a pet shop I felt so affected when I saw a beautiful dog. So, I bought the dog and< brought> to my home.

Dogs are easily trained and they will be your best friend. Also, you can teach the dog to make they obligation in the correct place.

So, If you're <looking> <to> <buy> a pet, you must buy a dog, the <most dear> pet. The dog will give you love, and you will have a better life with a pet.
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4 respostas
Ordenar por: Data

Flavia.lm 4055 1 10 94
Olá Jeff

algumas sugestões

the first day that I went to a pet shop
brought está correto, mas vc pode dizer simplesmente "brought home" (home não necessita de indicação, fica subentendido que a sua casa)
to make their obligation
"obligation" - não sei se o termo está correto, vc tirou de alguma fonte?
So, if you intend to buy...
the dearest pet

duas observações:
- notei um pouco de falta de concordância, vc inicial falando de "the dog" (o cachorro) depois fala de "them" (os cachorros). Sugiro reescrever todo o texto no singular, ou então todo no plural.
- Sugiro também reescrever o último parágrafo evitando a repetição da palavra 'pet'.

espero ter ajudado!

Flavia.lm 4055 1 10 94
Corrigindo:

Notei um pouco de falta de concordância, vc inicia falando de "the dog"

Donay Mendonça 60515 21 100 1464
Jeff,

Para complementar,minhas sugestões:

Actually,the most perfect pets for me are dogs. They are cute, loving and very extroverted. Also, they won't destroy your house if you leave them alone and make them feel very angry.

The first day that I came into a pet shop I was so moved when I saw a beautiful dog. So, I bought the dog and brought it to my home.

Dogs are easily trained and they will be your best friend. Also, you can train a dog to go to the bathroom in the right place.

So, If you're planning to buy a pet, you must buy a dog, the dearest pet. The dog will give you love, and you will have a better life with a pet.

Muito Bom Texto!

Boa sorte!

Gustavo Dias 25
Jeffsuporte escreveu: So, If you're <looking> <to> <buy> a pet, you must buy a dog, the <most dear> pet. The dog will give you love, and you will have a better life with a pet.
"If you're looking for buying a pet"
"The dearest pet"

I hope I've helped you... ;)