Correção de texto: Questão 2 Writing TOEFL
- guilherme.dantas
- Membro desde: 11 Out 2013, 15:15
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Pessoal , estou estudando para o TOEFL e estou encontrando muita dificuldade para redigir textos, pricipalmente quando se trata de conjugações verbais. Gostaria que alguém que pudesse desse um parecer sobre os erros comuns que cometo pois usar o google translate para corrigir erros de gramática não dá
O tema era : Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you this is better?
Young adults look for independence, they want to be more themselves and want to do whatever comes to their mind, but it is necessary to leave parent’s house to do this? We should to concern about the efforts to leave parent’s house, because few reasons I think is better to live with parents as longer as possible.
First, live with parent is better to save money. Renting an apartment or a house, even living in a student residence might be very expensive; indeed, it is common students to take loans for living while they are studying in university. The loans is the most common way to pay the bills among students. In addition, this necessity for money make many students to get a job; nevertheless, this job can affect their grade in the university by taking the time used to study. Therefore, to avoid spending much than you can or to have to take a job, it is better to wait a little before leave our house.
Second, at parent’s house we have fewer concerns than if we living alone. There is many things to do in home, cleaning the house, laundering, cooking of the meal; and there is no to concern about this at parent’s house.
From all points I made above, we can draw a conclusion that it is a good choice to wait more few years until leaving our parent’s house. This is an important decision in our life because involves money, security and others aspects in our life, therefore we should think well about the best time to leave home and to fly to world.
Aos que puderem ajudar, obrigado.
O tema era : Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you this is better?
Young adults look for independence, they want to be more themselves and want to do whatever comes to their mind, but it is necessary to leave parent’s house to do this? We should to concern about the efforts to leave parent’s house, because few reasons I think is better to live with parents as longer as possible.
First, live with parent is better to save money. Renting an apartment or a house, even living in a student residence might be very expensive; indeed, it is common students to take loans for living while they are studying in university. The loans is the most common way to pay the bills among students. In addition, this necessity for money make many students to get a job; nevertheless, this job can affect their grade in the university by taking the time used to study. Therefore, to avoid spending much than you can or to have to take a job, it is better to wait a little before leave our house.
Second, at parent’s house we have fewer concerns than if we living alone. There is many things to do in home, cleaning the house, laundering, cooking of the meal; and there is no to concern about this at parent’s house.
From all points I made above, we can draw a conclusion that it is a good choice to wait more few years until leaving our parent’s house. This is an important decision in our life because involves money, security and others aspects in our life, therefore we should think well about the best time to leave home and to fly to world.
Aos que puderem ajudar, obrigado.
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