Correção de texto: redação para o exame TOEFL

Olá, estou estudando para o TOEFL e tenho maior dificuldade no writing e no speaking. Quem puder ajudar, agradeço muito!
A pergunta foi retirada de um dos materiais oficiais da ETS

PERGUNTA:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

RESPOSTA:

There are many important things that are necessary to build a relationship. We can list some of these things: respect, comprehension, passion, love, trust etc. However, I think that among all these things, being true is one of the most important things. To be sincere is a fundamental part of the relationship basis, even though it is a date, a marriage, a friendship or a business partnership. If a relationship starts with lies and disguises, there is a big chance that it does not work, because even though a person creates a character or wears a mask to someone, in some time it will be impossible to keep it and he or she will show who they really are.

One very typical example is when someone tries to conquer the other one not being himself of herself. Other example I can say is when a friend tries to be impressive to others telling things about its life that is not true. One more hypotetical situation I can mention is when one person in a relationship hide feelings and thoughts because it is afraid of how the other one can react or what can happen with the relationship.

In these three situations (but not only in these), lying and hiding whatever it is from each other can cause a lot of problems and the confidence can be broken. It is very important to be sincere with the person we are relating because being truthful makes the relationship stronger and avoids unnecessary hurting and discussion. Therefore, I believe that even if it is hard to tell the truth is very important always trying to be sincere about who we are, what we think and what we are feeling. I don’t think always telling the truth is the most important consideration in a relationship because there are other equally important things that builds a relationship, but, definetly is one of the best things we can try to do to have a healthy relationship.