Correção de texto: redação para o exame TOEFL

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A pergunta foi retirada de um dos materiais oficiais da ETS

PERGUNTA:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

RESPOSTA:

There are many important things that are necessary to build a relationship. We can list some of these things: respect, comprehension, passion, love, trust etc. However, I think that among all these things, being true is one of the most important things. To be sincere is a fundamental part of the relationship basis, even though it is a date, a marriage, a friendship or a business partnership. If a relationship starts with lies and disguises, there is a big chance that it does not work, because even though a person creates a character or wears a mask to someone, in some time it will be impossible to keep it and he or she will show who they really are.

One very typical example is when someone tries to conquer the other one not being himself of herself. Other example I can say is when a friend tries to be impressive to others telling things about its life that is not true. One more hypotetical situation I can mention is when one person in a relationship hide feelings and thoughts because it is afraid of how the other one can react or what can happen with the relationship.

In these three situations (but not only in these), lying and hiding whatever it is from each other can cause a lot of problems and the confidence can be broken. It is very important to be sincere with the person we are relating because being truthful makes the relationship stronger and avoids unnecessary hurting and discussion. Therefore, I believe that even if it is hard to tell the truth is very important always trying to be sincere about who we are, what we think and what we are feeling. I don’t think always telling the truth is the most important consideration in a relationship because there are other equally important things that builds a relationship, but, definetly is one of the best things we can try to do to have a healthy relationship.
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There are many important things that are necessary to build a relationship and we can list out some of them: respect, comprehension, passion, love, trust etc. However, among all these, being trustworthy is the most important. To be sincere is a fundamental part of a relationship, whether or not it is a date, a marriage, a friendship or a business partnership. If a relationship starts with lies and disguises, it stands a much better chance not to work out fine, because although someone can pose as somebody else to others, eventually it is impossible to keep it quiet and the other will end up finding out who they really are.

A typical example is when people try to come across as being someone else before others. Another example is when a friend tries to impress others by saying things about his life which are not true. Other hypothetical situation is when a person is in a relationship and hide his feelings and thoughts because he is afraid of how the other can react to them or what can happen to his relationship.

In these three situations, by lying and hiding whatever it is from each other can cause a lot of problems and confidence can be lost. It is very important to be reliable to the person we have relationship with because by being truthful makes relationship be stronger and avoids unnecessary hurt and argument. Therefore, I believe that even though it is hard to tell the truth, it is essential to be honest about who you are, what you think and what you feel. I don’t think that saying the truth all the time is the most importantly consideration in a relationship because there are other things equally important that builds a relationship, but definitely it is one of the best things can be done in order to have healthy relationship.

Não quis mudar muito. Tentei alterar algumas coisas apenas. Espero que goste. Abraço.
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There are important aspects to consider when starting a relationship. We can list some of them: respect, comprehension, passion, love, trust etc. However, I believe being truthful is one of the most important elements of any relationship. Being sincere is a fundamental part of the relationship, whether one is dating, getting married, starting a new friendship or a business partnership. If a relationship starts with lies and disguises, there is a big chance that it won't work, because a person is creating a character and wearing a mask that at some stage will fall, and their true colours will show.

Alguns pontos a considerar

1. Evite ao máximo usar a palavra "thing". Passa a impressão de você ñ tem vocabulário suficiente para se expressar. Adicionalmente, THING pode ser qualquer coisa e 99.9999999999999999999% das vezes você pode substituir "thing" por outra palavra. No momento em que você compõe uma frase que tenha a palavra "thing", pare por 1 segundo é pense no qual outra palavra você pode usar.

E.g

1. There are many important things that are necessary to build a relationship

* There are important aspects to consider when building a relationship
* There are important elements of a successful relationship to consider when starting one

2. Being true is one of the most important things

* being truthful is one of the most important elements of any relationship
* being truthful is the single most important aspect of a relationship to consider when starting one