Correção redação para o exame TOEFL

Olá, estou estudando para o TOEFL e tenho maior dificuldade no writing e no speaking. Quem puder ajudar, agradeço muito!
A atividade era pra ler um texto e ouvir um trecho de uma aula e explicar como os pontos levantados na aula contradizem os pontos levantados no texto.
Como não dá pra colocar aqui o texto e áudio, peço que, quem puder ajudar, corrija somente o texto em si, com relação à escrita, gramática e ortografia. Muito obrigada desde já :)

Pra resumir, o texto e a aula falavam sobre altruísmo e o texto falava como os humanos e animais podem ser altruístas e a aula falava que isso era um pouco difícil e que os exemplos do texto não eram corretos.

TEXTO:

Both lecture and passage are about altruism. The passage give some examples of what can be considered an altruistic acts between humans and animals, but the lecture casts doubt in some points made on the passage.

First, the lecture disagree with the passage about the meerkats. The reading passage asserts that the meerkats are an example of altruism among animals. It afirms that the sentinel meerkat stands guard,hungry, while the others hunt food. However, the lecture says that when the sentinel meerkat look out for the others, it already ate. So, acordding to the lecture it can't be an example of altruism.

Second, the lecture continues disagreeing with the reading passage about the sentinel meerkart, saying that it doesn't take too much risk, opposing what the passage says, that it is less likely to fend off a predator. The speaker of the lecture explains that the sentinel meerkat alerts the group and hide in a safe place, so the group is the one who takes more risk.

Third, the lecture disagrees with the reading passage casting doubt on the ability of humans to practice an unselfish act. The reading passage gives examples of what can be an human selfless act, such as sharing food with strangers and donation of body organs to family members and to strangers. But the lecture indicates that the person who donates organs, for example, might be doing it to receive approval of family anf society.

CENTENAS DE EXPRESSÕES DO INGLÊS
Preparamos um plano de estudos para ajudar você a dominar centenas de palavras e expressões do inglês em tempo recorde. EXPERIMENTE AGORA
1 resposta
Telma Regina 9 65 608
My corrections and changes to your text are shown below:

The lecture and the passage are about altruism. The passage gives some examples of what can be considered altruistic acts by humans and animals, but the lecture casts doubt about some points in the passage.

Firstly, the lecture disagrees with the passage about meerkats. The reading passage asserts that the meerkats are an example of altruism amongst animals. It afirms that the sentinel meerkat stands guard, hungry, while the others hunt for food. However, the lecture says that when the sentinel meerkat looks out for the others, it had already eaten. So, according to the lecture it cannot be an example of altruism.

Secondly, the lecture continues disagreeing with the passage regarding the sentinel meerkart, saying that it does not tend to take too much risk, in contrast to what the passage states that it is less likely to fend off a predator. The lecture speaker explains that the sentinel meerkat alerts the group and hides in a safe place, and hence, the group is subject to more risk.

Thirdly, the lecture, also, disagrees with the passage and casts doubt on the ability of humans to practice unselfish acts. The reading passage gives examples of what can be an human unselfish act, such as sharing food with strangers or donating body organs to family members or strangers. The lecture specifies that the person who donates organs, for example, might be doing it for family and society approval.

(Pay more attention to the third person singular.)