Correção de "texto em inglês - Kony 2012"

Escrevi um texto após assistir ao vídeo Kony 2012. Achei um tanto complicado escrever a crítica a um vídeo desse tipo, com carater ativista e político. Gostaria que vocês me ajudassem corrigindo e sugerindo jeitos mais corretos de se expressar.
Acredito que o conteúdo do meu texto possa ser um pouco polêmico, entretanto esse forum não é de debates.


Kony 2012

Kony 2012 is a film and campaign created to raise funds that will be used to search and arrest Joseph Kony, a kidnapper of African children. The film aim to show the invisible children that are kidnapped, raped, murdered and forced to participate in the rebel armies. You may wondering how the campaign will arrest the Kony: putting American Armies in the Africa!
That description looks like a supportive amazing project. Unfortunately it isn't. Kony 2012 is a film that use many manipulative advertising techniques. During the film I was wondering If I was watching a activist documentary or a commercial advertising.
The film shows the Joseph Kony like he was the most important problem of Africa. Everybody knows that it isn't true. Joseph Kony is not the unique rebel in the Africa and won't be the last. Africa is replete of Kony's. If you arrest one, soon another come on. So, it's obvious that campaign is not useful besides keep the American Armies in the Africa.
Kony 2012 is only other method to manipulate and stole the new generation of Facebook.

If you want to watch this film, click in the link below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc
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Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49070 21 73 1138
Algumas sugestões de correção:

Kony 2012 is a film and campaign created to raise funds that will be used to search and arrest Joseph Kony, a kidnapper of African children. The film aims to show the invisible children that are kidnapped, raped, murdered and forced to join the rebel armies. You may be wondering how the campaign will arrest Kony: putting American Armies in Africa!
That description looks like a supportive amazing project. Unfortunately it isn't. Kony 2012 is a film that uses many manipulative advertising techniques. During the film I was wondering If I was watching an activist documentary or a commercial advertising.
The film shows Joseph Kony like he was the most serious problem in Africa. Everybody knows that it isn't true. Joseph Kony is not the only rebel in Africa and won't be the last one. There are many Konys in Africa. If you arrest one, soon another one will come. So, it's obvious that campaign is not useful. It will only keep the American Armies in Africa.
Kony 2012 is just another method to manipulate and rob the new Facebook generation.
Muito obrigado pela ajuda.

Minha única dúvida: "So, it's obvious that campaign is not useful besides keep the American Armies in the Africa."
Me expressei errado nessa frase? Qual seria o real sentido?
Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49070 21 73 1138
Gustavo,

Minha única dúvida: "So, it's obvious that campaign is not useful besides keep the American Armies in the Africa."



Esta sentença não está adequada. Não sei o sentido que você quis empregar. Com um contexto ou explicação do que você quis dizer, poderemos ajudar.