Correção de texto: Environment

First of all, there are a lot of people that don't worry about environment, however they are worried about the technology. it's never later for minds about environment.

By the way, the kids need to learn to care for the environment. Actually, the kids learn about technology very youngest, the kids should learn about environment when they are young too.

In my point of view, it's the job of parents and teachers to young learn about important things for the world.
In fact, they need to learn productive things, this generation need to care for our world or on the contrary nobody will live in peace in the future.
With this in mind, the schools need to have projects about environment and projects about good things and bad things of environment.
Finally, all of us should help our world, that everybody lives in peace. we need to have love for our world, we should learn more about environment.

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2 respostas
Redseahorse 2 28 365
algumas sugestões:

First of all, there are a lot of people WHO don't worry about THE environment, OTHERWISE, they are MORE INTERESTED AND CONCERNED about TECHNOLOGIES. It's never TOO LATE TO REMIND PEOPLE about THE environment.

By the way, the kids need to learn HOW to care for the environment. Actually, THEY learn about technology FROM A very YOUNG AGE, the kids should learn about THE environment PRESERVATION FROM THE SAME AGE too.

In my point of view, it's A parents and teachers RESPONSIBILITY to TEACH THE YOUTH about important things for the world. In fact, they need to learn productive things, this generation need to care for our world, on the contrary, nobody will live in peace in the future.

With this in mind, the schools need to have EDUCATION projects about THE PROTECTION OF THE environment, WHICH INCLUDE STUDIES ON good and bad ACTIONS FOR THE environment.

Finally, all of us should help our world, WHERE everybody COULD LIVE in peace, we need TO LOVE our world AND we should learn more about THE environment.
PPAULO 6 47 1.1k
Thaís, you are on the right track, one can see that you are studying and particularly trying to hone your writing skills. Congrats!

Well, now to the hard work!
I don´t know if it´s a pattern or it was sheer coincidence, but I have noticed that you repeated the "first of all" beggining a piece of text of yours.
Be careful not to turn into the "first of all-girl"...just kidding you here! but just to add variety to it:

These days/nowadays, there are a lot of people that don't worry about environment, they care much more about technology than they do about environment. It's never late (or - too late) to become conscious about our/one´s environmentally friendly actions.

OR just...

There are a lot of people that don't worry about environment, they care much more about technology than they do about environment. It's never late ( or - "too late") to become conscious about our/one´s own environmentally friendly actions.

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It´s just an idea, it could be put (phrased) in other ways.

I don´t favor the article before "environment" because it would specify it, that is, we would have to state what kind of environment.
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