Correção de texto: "On the road"

Olá, criei uma história para praticar inglês. Se puderem corrigir:

Anna and Maria are into their blue car, and they have a conversation. They are traveling to Chicago. It´s their first travel and they are so excited. The trunk is full of things, many bags and clothes. But Maria just carried with her one bag, a big, red, bag. It´s a long travel to Chicago, the road is full of cars, a intense traffic.

Anna says to Maria: I hate traffic! Look at that yellow car! It´s insane!
Maria says: Hey, do not worry! It´s up to me! Trust me! We go to get at there in the right time!
Anna asks to Maria: What time is the show? Twenty two o´clock?
Maria: I guess it is! Oh! What´s the right direction? Left or right?
Anna: I guess it´s left! Hey, wait! Let me see this map! Yeah, turn left! We´re close to the Cassino Show!
Maria: I think we´re wrong! We past the Cassino Show! What do you think Anna?
Anna: I don´t know! Look at the parking! I think it´s the Cassino Show´s parking!
Maria: Oh! Let me park this car, and then we check it!

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5 respostas
PPAULO 6 47 1.1k
Anna and Maria are in their blue car, and they have a conversation. (OR they are having a conversation/they are chatting if slangy).

They are going to Chicago. [traveling would do as well]. It´s their first travel and they are so excited. The trunk is packed with bags and clothes. [just a more 'colourful' way - packed with ]

Maria brought just one bag with her, a big, red one. It´s a long travel to Chicago, the road is jammed [same as "full/packed] with of cars, the traffic is heavy [same as intense].

Anna says to Maria: I hate traffic! Look at that yellow car! It´s insane!
Maria says: Hey, do not worry![*] It´s up to me! Trust me! We go to get at there in the right time!
[*] "don´t worry" would be a bit more colloquial.

Anna asks to Maria: What time is the show? Twenty two o´clock?
Maria: I guess it is! Oh! What´s the right direction? Left or right?
Anna: I guess it´s left! [2] wait! Let me see...this map! Yeah, turn left! We´re close to the Cassino Show!
[2]I tried to convey a more fast-pacing situation (and adjusted the chat accordingly).

Maria: I think we´re wrong! We are past the Cassino Show. What do you think Anna?
Anna: I don´t know... Look at the parking! I think it´s the Cassino Show´s parking lot!
Maria: Oh! Let´s park the car and check it out!

;-) Of course, others will improve it further, this is just a kick-off.
Obrigada pelas correções!

Tenho uma dúvida. Ali no trecho se eu usasse a palavra 'full' ficaria... The road is full with of cars?
PPAULO 6 47 1.1k
In the sense of heavy traffic to state that the road is "jammed" or "packed" with cars would be more natural English. It´s jammed with volumes of traffic (too many cars trying to use not enough roads).

"Full of cars" would mean the road has 'many' (not a few) cars, and even so it would be better if we said the road was busy with traffic (so not yet jammed/congested).
Usually we say that road is full with potholes, with souvenir shopping places, food and fruits stalls (sometimes on both sides), etc.
Entendi. Obrigada pela dica!
PPAULO 6 47 1.1k
Por nada, e que bom que ajudou!
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