Correção de texto: Violence

Fist of all, the violence is very common in Brazil, because the society doesn't respect other people.
By the way, the respect is fundamental to combat violence in Brazil and world.
As a matter of fact in Brazilian streets there isn't police supervision and for this reason there are many robberies and sexual abuse on the streets.
Another kind of violence very common in Brazilian society is the domestic violence, many Women endure husband's domestic violence.
The Brazilian authorities should create laws that indeed work properly, because they are cannot go unpunished.
Finally, the people need respect other people, thus will not have violence in Brazilian society. It's needful that there are love in the world to combat violence.

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Avatar do usuário PPAULO 41375 6 32 726
If you mean an academical text (meaning, for instance GED/TOEFL and the likes) you don´t cite the "crude/gory details", then where you cited "robberies/thefts and sexual abuse" you would replace that by "violence in general". Just a suggestion, though, since I don´t know if you wanted a colloquial/informal writing. Anyway, if you do that, it´s like you are making some comment on the war on Syria section of Liveleak or something.

In such academic, or at least not overly informal it´s not advisable to keep generalizing. This way, instead of "violence is very common in Brazil" (which can be some perception of yours, to a greater or lesser degree due to one´s experience, region, neighbourhood etc...). To specify it a bit, I stated that it (violence) is "widespread throughout all levels of society". With that, I somewhat meant
all kinds of violence, corruption would be a kind of violence that would be all-encompassing. The same happens to your example, the one of domestic violence. Wich might include some woman treating her partner bad, and worse still, a child learning by osmose (seeing their folks arguing, and in this case, it doesn´t matter who is right or not.

Again, you talk about "respect" but not in a specific way, one gets thinking "what kind of respect?" or what is respect? I tried to specify it a tad, by defining that it can be the principle of treating others like you would like to be treated.

With the word "endure" it may mislead the reader to think that many women may suffer their misery for as long it might happen. I preffer to say "cope with", but certainly there will be more strong ways to say that without sanctioning it. And we want to express precisely that, disapproval.

It's needful that there are love in the world to combat violence.
"It´s needful that" isn´t a good expression, "it´s imperative that" is a better choice of words.

and by affirming that it´s imperative that love be a component of our lives or of our country´s mores, doesn´t explain how and what kind of love (along with other likely specifities of the word "love" there.) That´s why I went on to explain it further, letting the reader know that love is not only to react to negative facts, this specifies how love should work in the current context.

Little tip:
When we produce a text we try to think as if we had to explain it to a kid, or to someone that is learning a language right now (Portuguese for example, albeit we are writing in English, but the strategy holds just the same.) Hence my insisting with being careful with details, as in the case of the words "respect" and "love" that we have just discussed above.

Good luck with your studies. Keep up the good job.
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Avatar do usuário PPAULO 41375 6 32 726
First of all, violence is very widespread throughout all levels of society in Brazil, because people don´t respect each other these days.
By the way, respect is a fundamental value and a most important strategy to prevent violence in Brazil and everywhere.
[1]As a matter of fact, nowadays somehow the general perception is of a lack of police presence, and this is one of the factors to prevent violence
in general.
Another kind of violence very common in Brazilian society is domestic violence. Many women cope with domestic violence by their husbands or partners (the ones very ones that were supposed to protect and provide for them...)
Brazilian authorities should create stricter laws and along with society should create the right conditions to their enforcement, because domestic violence is so repulsive (not to say barbaric) to go unpunished.
Finally, people need respect each other to the most basic levels, that goes back to the golden principle that sums up it all. That is, "treat others as you would want them to treat you".
It´s imperative that love be part and parcel of our world, and this doesn´t means only reacting to negative facts, but everyone being part of the process.
Societal participation is a must, and so is the involvement of the big units of the "social system"; say, of families, school, health, public security forces, the press (all pillars of society, after all).
Education begins at home, but awareness is needed to keep it going. In the meantime, we know that no law is guarantee of safety, but with due checks and balances, along with educating people in general, it would prevent a lot of unnecessary suffering.
In short, it´s like we all are in need of changing (beggining from within, of course)!

[1] After "as matter of fact" should use a comma, it means "actually/in fact" (and with those words would use comma after them as well, in this specific case.)
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 41375 6 32 726
Little rewording of my comment above:

Brazilian authorities, along with society; should create stricter laws and right conditions to their enforcement. Because domestic violence is so repulsive (not to say barbaric) to go unpunished.