In addition to Donay's corrections I would like to suggest the following:
Unless there is an overriding reason that is not shown in the original post, eliminate the "So,"
as the first word, giving us "At 7:00 c'clock .
... he arrived he knocked on
the door." The use of "there
" is superfluous in this context, and one knocks on the door not at it.
I would change "What's the time
" to "What time is it
." as being more natural in conversational English.
Using the phrase " ... I need to pick up Paul and Lisa too
", nicely and smoothly replaces "... I need to go and get Paul and Lisa too."
The last suggestion which I would like to make and emphasize is that when writing a script or quoting a person the actual words to be spoken or that were spoken, respectively, need to be inclosed in quotation marks ("...")
I hope this makes sense to all and that you profit from these suggestions.
Pick up - see: http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/pick+up
Superfluous - see: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/superfluous