Correção de texto "at 7:00 o´clock in the evening..."

Olá! vocês poderiam corrigir o texto abaixo? O que vocês acharam dele?

So, at 7:00 o´clock in the evening Taylor went to Jane´s house. When he arrived there, he knocked at the door. After a little time, Jane openned the door.
Jane: Hi, Taylor! How are you?
Taylor: Hi! I´m good!
Jane: Oh! come in! What´s the time?
Taylor: Hum... It´s about seven o´clock. Are you ready? ´cause I need to get Paul and Lisa too.
Jane: Oh! Just wait a minute, please. I´m going to put my shoes and after that we can go, ok?
Taylor: Ok! Hurry up!
Jane: Hey, Taylor! Am I look ok?
Taylor: Of course! So, get into the car, baby.