Correção de texto: "Booking Accommodation"

Hi there!

Estou prestando o IELTS em 07 dias.
Para focar forte nessa reta final, decidi escrever 2 textos por dia pegando samples de exames anteriores: Um será a carta (Letter) e o outro a dissertação (Essay).
Hoje infelizmente só achei tempo pra escrever a Letter.
Se alguém tiver a possibilidade de corrigí-los ou apontar ideias/mudanças será de grande valia!
Qualquer comentario é de grande ajuda!
Grato!



5. Booking Accommodation
You are going to take a short holiday in Singapore and you want to rent a holiday apartment while you are there. Write to the tourist information office. In your letter:
• explain what you need
• say when you plan to be there
• ask for information about prices
Begin your letter as follows: Dear Mr / Ms __________






Dear Mr Bryan,

My name is Angelo, I am a Brazilian man that lives in Dublin and really enjoys travelling. I am writing you this letter to seek information about my family’s accommodation in Singapore during our holidays. We are thinking about renting an apartment, it does not need to be very spacious, however, it has to have a balcony and a place to park our bicycles. Moreover, we would like to get an apartment in a central area. As we are going to be in four people, two bedrooms are enough.

We start off on the 05th of January and we are going to stay until the 12th. I really wish I could stay more, but due to personal commitments I unfortunately cannot.

I would like you to send me some pictures, prices and well-detailed information regarding the apartments you may have.

I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Thank you very much,

Yours sincerely,

Angelo