Correção de texto "My name is..."

Hello. I'll go to India in Augost, to an youth exchange.So I have to send a letter, introducing me. Someone can help me? é URGENTE! é pra hoje.
Texto:
Hello everyone!
My name is Murilo Henrique da Silva. I’m 16 years old. I’m Brazilian. And I’m really excited about this exchange.
I generally study hard on my free time. I like to study a lot. Right now, I’m learning Russian and Italian. I also like to surf on the internet, to chat with my friends. I like to go out with my friends, watch some movies, talk a lot and have fun. I study at a public school, called Rui Barbosa. Here we can’t choose classes, so we do all of them.
My favorite matters are English, Mathematics, History, Geography, Biology, Physical Education and Arts. But we also have Philosophy, Sociology, Physics, Chemistry and Portuguese.
I have class between Mondays to Friday. I have 5 classes by day. I study 4 hours daily. During classes I really pay attention. After class I go home, so I study, surf on the internet, watch TV series and do some physical exercises. At night I relax, read some books, and listen to music, so I sleep.
At my school we don’t have clubs, just a few courses after class. A few years ago, I voluntary taught Computing on my school, what was very cool. I went Class Leader a few times and I’m responsible with creative area.
My house is very beautiful and comfortable. It’s a medium size house. I have my own bedroom. I generally study on the living room or on my bedroom. My house is very close from school, so I go on foot with my friends.
My father, Gilberto, is a Health Inspector. On his job he inspect all the factories, shops, and so on, to have sure that they are secure and clean enough for our own health. He also has to make sure that we don’t have epidemic diseases on my city.
My mom, Elizandra, is a Supermarket Manager. She has to organize products and she leads a team.
My city is very small and beautiful. São Lourenço do Oeste has approximately 20 thousand inhabitants, the most part of them live on the urban side. We have a strong economy, with one of the biggest food factories of my country. Also we have furniture factories. The city is small, but we have a lot of green areas.
I’m interest in film and photography. I like to take pictures and film my friends, family, etc. I do it always I can. I also like to do sports. I love running, swimming, and so on. I do this almost every day, I spend about 30 minutes.
I have been in Argentina and Paraguay, spent a few hours there, but just for shopping. I traveled a lot in my country. I have been in a lot of interesting places. I like to travel with my parents and friends.
I dislike people who hurt the others, that are always pessimist and have bad humor.
I want to do college on New York University, to be a Movie Director.
I think that this is a important profession. Because the movies have so much influence in the people’s life. In a movie you can influence people in very different ways; you can spend so much love and good vibrations that can turn some minds. I want to be a Movie Director because I want to show to the world the beautiful things that we have. This is a lovely planet, with so much people who deserves to be showed. I also have a dream which is open an ONG, to help animals and environment that are one of my passions.
This can work together. The people have to see that’s our planet, so we have to take care and make it health for every single way of life.
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Avatar do usuário dlr 65
overall it was pretty good, with a wide vocabulary. most of the changes I made were very minor

muriloslo escreveu:Texto:
Hello everyone!
My name is Murilo Henrique da Silva. I’m 16 years old. I’m Brazilian. And I’m really excited about this exchange.
I generally study hard in my free time. I like to study a lot. Right now, I’m learning Russian and Italian. I also like to surf the internet and chat with my friends. I like to go out with my friends, watch some movies, talk a lot and have fun. I study at a public school, called Rui Barbosa. Here we can’t choose classes, so we do all of them.
My favorite subjects are English, Mathematics, History, Geography, Biology, Physical Education and Arts. But we also have Philosophy, Sociology, Physics, Chemistry and Portuguese.
I have class between Mondays to Friday. I have 5 classes per day. I study 4 hours daily. During classes I really pay attention. After class I go home, so I study, surf the internet, watch TV and do some physical exercises. At night I relax, read some books, and listen to music, (escuto música pra dormir=listen to music to go to sleep. escuto música e depois durmo = listen to music and then go to sleep) so I sleep.
At my school we don’t have clubs, just a few courses after class. A few years ago, I volunteered to teach Computing at my school, which was very cool. I was Class Leader a few times and I’m responsible with creative area (?).
My house is very beautiful and comfortable. It’s a medium size house. I have my own bedroom. I generally study in the living room or in my bedroom. My house is very close to school, so I walk with my friends.
My father, Gilberto, is a Health Inspector. At his job he inspects all the factories, shops, and so on, to have sure that they are secure and clean enough for our own health. He also has to make sure that we don’t have epidemic diseases on my city.
My mom, Elizandra, is a Supermarket Manager. She has to organize products and she leads a team.
My city is very small and beautiful. São Lourenço do Oeste has approximately 20 thousand inhabitants, most of them live on the urban side. We have a strong economy, with one of the biggest food factories of my country. Also we have furniture factories. The city is small, but we have a lot of green areas.
I’m interested in film and photography. I like to take pictures and film my friends, family, etc. I do it whenever I can. I also like to do sports. I love running, swimming, and so on. I do this almost every day, I spend about 30 minutes.
I have been in Argentina and Paraguay, spent a few hours there, but just for shopping. I traveled a lot in my country. I have been in a lot of interesting places. I like to travel with my parents and friends.
I dislike people who hurt others, that are always pessimist and have bad humor.
I want to go to college at New York University to be a Movie Director.
I think that this is a important profession. Because movies have so much influence in people’s life. In a movie you can influence people in very different ways; you can spend(?) so much love and good vibrations that can turn some minds(?). I want to be a Movie Director because I want to show to the world the beautiful things that we have. This is a lovely planet with so many people who deserves to be showed(É um planeta lindo com tantas pessoas que ... merece ser mostrado = it deserves to be shown ... merecem ser mostradas = so many people that deserve to be shown). I also have a dream which is start a non-profit organization, and to help animals and the environment are my passions.
These (?)can work together. The people have to see that it's our planet, so we have to take care and make it healthy for every single way of life.