Correção de texto: Once upon a time... Era uma vez...

Eu fiz um texto pra praticar as palavras que venho aprendendo em inglês. Vocês poderiam por favor corrigir se algo estiver errado? Eu destaquei as palavras que eu dei ênfase em usar, se elas estiverem em contexto errado ou usadas inapropriadamente, corrijam por favor. :)

Once upon a time it was a bobcat. He was sweet and suave. He didn't have fretfulness in his mood nor murky or anything related to band and grim. He used to hunt only bad animals in the community. This day, he was hunting an armadillo. He thought it would be easy to catch him as long as he could run faster. And it was so. He found him and ran a few meters until he reached the armadillo.

He tore its maw and brought what was inside to the community, so they could eat its guts. The community was poor and small. After the guts-lunch, he was going to snooze. While the bobcat was snoozing, 2 cadgers showed up pleading for food. He granted them some. After losing his drowse, he decided to go hunting once again, but for dinner now.

He caught a limping hart. The hart was weak, so it was easy to capture it. He brought the hart to the community, but told them to wait for the supper time. Went hunting again, but this time he saw a lynx. The lynx was bigger than him, but, fearless, he attacked the it. The bobcat was very strong, so he could defeat the lynx. And he did so, but he had his shank bone broken. He brought the lynx to the community. And satisfied all them in the supper with the hart and the lynx. Albeit he had stopped bleeding, the grief hadn't gone yet. But everyone thought it was normal due to prior experiences. At night, while asleep, he felt huge pain. He knew he had to kill that pain, or something bad was gonna happen. He found nothing. So he tried to sleep and did as well.

The other day, bleakness rounded the community. The so adored and idolized bobcat had been gone. He did not wake up that morning. So the mayhem had started. All his bones were put apart, so they could do a sheaf of bone-arrows with his bones. And when the quiver was ready, all cried in sadness.


Life Lesson: people's life are fleeting, but their memories are forever.

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Avatar do usuário Telma Regina 22725 9 58 570
Murilo,

Sugiro algumas correções e alterações no seu texto:

Once upon a time there was a bobcat. He was soft and sweet. He wasn't neither fretful nor murky or anything related to band and grim. He used to hunt only wild animals in the community. One day, he was hunting an armadillo and thought it would be easy to catch it as long as he could run faster. And he did so. He found it and caught it after running a few meters. (Não nos referimos a animais como "he/she" ou "him/her", se não sabemos se é macho ou fêmea. "Band" is not an adjective)

He tore its body and brought what was inside it to the community, so everybody could eat. The community was poor and small. After eating, he went snoozing. Meanwhile, two cadgers showed up pleading for food. He granted them some. After losing the drowsiness, he decided to go hunting once again, but this time for dinner.

He caught a limping hart. The hart was weak, so it was easy to capture it. He brought the hart to the community, but told them to wait for the supper time. He went hunting again, but this time he saw a lynx. The lynx was bigger than him, but, fearless, he attacked the it. The bobcat was very strong, and defeated the lynx, but he had his shank bone broken. He brought the lynx to the community and satisfied everybody in the supper with the hart and the lynx. Albeit he had stopped bleeding, the pain hadn't gone yet, but everyone thought it was normal due to to what he had been through. At night, while asleep, he felt huge pain. He knew he had to do something to ease that pain, or something bad was going to happen. There was nothing he could do. So he tried to sleep. and did as well

The next day, bleakness rounded the community. The so adored and idolized bobcat had been gone. He did not wake up that morning. So the mayhem had started. All his bones were put apart, so they could do a sheaf of arrows from his bones and when the quiver was ready, everybody cried in sadness."


Life Lesson: mortal lives are fleeting, but their memories are forever. (I suggest "mortal" because the text is about animals)
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Thank you. Very helpful your answer. I didn't mean "band", I mispelled it. I meant "bad". Haha. Thanks anyway.
Avatar do usuário Telma Regina 22725 9 58 570
Still wouldn't make any sense: "...or anything related to bad..." (??)
Careful with the spelling mistakes; they will cost you good marks in an English examination, and you wouldn't laugh about that, I'm sure.
Oh I see, I committed another mistake. The correct is: "...nor murky THOUGHTS or anything related to bad and grim". I forgot to type 'thoughts'.