Correção de Essay Toefl

Bom dia.

Aqui vai um texto no modelo do TOEFL.

Recentemente descobri que na verdade são 30 min para o essay. Pensei que era 40 min, vish, hehe.
Sei que as ideias ficaram meio toscas, mas se eu souber as correções na gramática, já tá ótimo.

Até

A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What

do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your

town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your

essay.



Every city has both advantages and disadvantages and sometimes the opinion that attempts to judge these things depends on the person, however, if I had to talk to a person about my city, I think I would tell about things such as the existence of several parks, the good public transport and, in the negative side, floods.

The daily routine of a person can be stressful due to several things - work, for example, - and I believe that the existence of parks can make the atmosphere more paceful. Everyone needs a moment dedicated to leisure. For instance, when I was working at a local company, I used to spent many of my weekends at parks doing nothing but seeing the threes and the animals, hiking, and so on. This was very relaxing and helped me to start the week better.

In addition to the existence of parks, I it seems to me that another advantage of my city is the public transport. Nowadays, the traffic is becoming more and more complicated due to the big quantity of cars and others vehicles. So, with a good public system of transport, it is possible to save time and spend better the rest of the day.

Finally, I must say that there are also disadvantages and probably the worst of them is the fact that sometimes there are floods. There is a river that crosses the city and when it rains very much, the water escapes the bounds of the river and reaches the place where people are in, like malls, parking lots and houses. For example, in the summer of the last year, there was a flood and I got stuck at the university. There was no danger to me because I wasn’t at the ground floor, but it had to wait many hours to leave the place. So, I would explain the situation to the person who are moving, saying how he or she can be safe when floods occur.

Thus, considering the points above explained, I think this person can enjoy the good things of the city such as parks and good public transport and, even if he or she can’t avoid the occurence of floods, at least with my explanations he or she could be safer.