Correção de texto: " Forgetting something at a friend's"

Hi there!

Estou prestando o IELTS em 11 dias.
Para focar forte nessa reta final, decidi escrever 2 textos por dia pegando samples de exames anteriores: Um será a carta (Letter) e o outro a dissertação (Essay).
Se alguém tiver a possibilidade de corrigí-los ou apontar ideias/mudanças será de grande valia!
Qualquer comentario é de grande ajuda!
Grato!



6. Forgetting something at a friend's
You stayed at your friend's house when you participated in a conference in Australia. You left a briefcase with important documents in your room. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter:
• thank your friend for the stay
• describe the briefcase
• ask him/her to return it to you by post
Begin your letter as follows: Dear




Dear John,

First and foremost: Thanks very much for hosting me during the conference week at your house. It was a memorable experience and I will definitely be back to Australia in the future!

I also write you to say that I forgot one suitcase in the bedroom I slept. It is a squared one, red and full of papers inside. The papers are actually all the notes I had been taking in the conference, therefore I hope you still did not get rid of my poor suitcase since they are immensely important!

In case you still have it, could you send me that back by post? Also, please write me your bank account details because I am going to deposit all the costs you might come across.

I am really sorry for disturbing, John! By the way: When are you going to pay me a visit?

I hope you are ok, my friend!

Regards

Angelo





Children should never be educated at home by their parents. Do you agree or disagree?


A person’s parents are the best teachers they are going to have throughout their lives. Therefore, I strongly believe that every single children in the world should be educated at home by their parents. However, not exclusively!

Children should be exposed to all the sorts of environments available during their growing-up process: Spending some time by themselves, with their brothers and sisters, with their friends, with their parents, with their relatives and in the school. The more mixed this phase is, the more beneficial for the development of the kids. A wider variety of environments means having to face more situations and getting to know more people, things that contribute to the mature process that every person has to come across.

A person only learns how to become a real citizen becoming part of the society by participating actively of it. Being isolated at home with only their parents as company would bring more harms than benefits to everybody.

Nevertheless, the importance of the parents’ presence in a person’s life becomes very clear specially if we have a look at several examples found in real life: Most of times in which we hear about a certain crime, the thief has no father or no mother (sometimes none of them). Regarding families with high acquisitive power, it is not rare finding parents complete absent from their sons lives and later on when they become teenagers they start using drugs and being absolutely irresponsible.

Thus, I do support the idea of a strong parents presence while the kids are being brought up. They are the main responsible for the future adults that their sons and daughters will become.