Correção de texto: redação para curso

Olá, boa tarde.

Preciso entregar essa redação para o meu curso de inglês e necessito usar nela "reporting verbs"(agree, offer, refuse, threaten, pretend, promise, persuade, remind, tell, advise, ask, invite, complain, deny, explain, insist), linkers(although, however) e verbs in different past tenses (simple, continuous, perfect) Agradeceria muito se pudessem corrigir possíveis erros e acrescentar mais "reporting verbs" na redação. Criei a história e não consegui depois inserí-los numa boa quantidade. Forte Abraço !

Police still investigating difficult case

On Friday the musician Jacques Rizek, who was driving a pick-up, was involved in an accident in New Orleans beating at high speed in a Nissan Altima.

The driver and the passenger Altima died and two people who were in the back seat have been hospitalized in very serious condition

When police arrived on the scene, the musician admitted that was sitting in the back seat and claimed that there was driving the pick-up - with the house logo shows "Jazz Club" which has in NY - but another man he did not know say where he was.

On site there was only one witness who said he had seen Jacques possibly inebriates driving the vehicle against U.S. Route 10 and just after the hit he jumped into the back seat to avoid any kind of punishment.

If this is proven, the musician will be charged with manslaughter and embreaguez the wheel, with sentence of 5 to 15 years of detection.

Opinion article:

Although the police are still investigating the case, the detention time is relatively low, as someone who is committed to driving inebriates certainly takes the risk of killing people in a possible accident. For me there is no difference from those who commit a felony.
MENSAGEM PATROCINADA Para aprender mais sobre os Tempos Verbais baixe agora o: Guia Grátis de Tempos Verbais em Inglês. Ele contém um resumo bem estruturado para revisar os conceitos que você aprendeu na escola.

Clique aqui e saiba como baixar!
Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49130 21 73 1140
Victor, sugiro as seguintes correções:

Police still investigating difficult case

On Friday the musician Jacques Rizek, who was driving a pick-up, was involved in an accident in New Orleans crashing at high speed in a Nissan Altima.

The driver and the passenger Altima died and two people who were in the back seat were hospitalized and their condition is serious.

When police arrived on the scene, the musician admitted that he was sitting in the back seat and claimed that there was driving the pick-up - with the house logo shows "Jazz Club" which has in NY - but another man he did not know say where he was. (o que este trecho quer dizer?)

On site there was only one witness who said he had seen Jacques possibly drunk driving the vehicle against U.S. Route 10 and just after the crash he jumped into the back seat to avoid any kind of punishment.

If this is proven, the musician will be charged with manslaughter and drunk driving, with a sentence of 5 to 15 years of detention.

Opinion article:

Although the police are still investigating the case, the detention time is relatively short, as someone who drinks and drives certainly runs the risk of killing people in an accident. For me there is no difference from those who commit a felony.