Correção do texto "My friend, I have some..."

cafranco
My friend,
I have some news to tell. I, Mark and the boys were on the boat, when my brother saw a pretty girl and fell in love
for her. But, you know, Mark is very shy and I thought: I should do something about this, to help my brother, and so I did.
At night, when I went to the dance-floor and dance with the girl, who has fallen in love.
When Mark saw me dancing with Donna ( the girl), he went out quickly. But, after that, on the next day, Mark lost the shyness and called her to dance.
Editado pela última vez por Donay Mendonça em 28 Dez 2010, 15:35, em um total de 1 vez.
Razão: Ajuste no título
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3 respostas
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Donay Mendonça 58120 22 97 1388
Cafranco,

Sugestões de melhoria para seu texto:

I have some news to tell you. I, Mark and the boys were on the boat when my brother saw a pretty girl and fell in love
with her. But, as you know, Mark is very shy and I thought : I should do something about that, I should help my brother, and I did so.
At night, I went to the dance-floor to dance with the girl he had fallen in love with. When Mark saw me dancing with Donna ( the girl), he left quickly. But, after that, on the next day, Mark got over his shyness and asked her to dance.


Boa sorte!

Flavia.lm 3960 1 9 90
Sobre o trecho "I, Mark and the boys were on the boat..."

Em inglês normalmente o "I" vem por último. Questão de respeito pelo(s) outro(s), I think.

Mark, the others and I ...
The others, Mark and I ...

cafranco
Brigada Donay e Flávia...

As correções foram bastante apropriadas
:D