Correção de texto: FCE Essay

Task: Shopping has little value as a leisure activity.
Write your essay. (Longman Gold coursebook)
Does anyone can correct this essay for me?

Thank you very much indeed.
Many people are enthusiastic about going shopping for many different reasons. The most common one it is to escape everyday problems and stress. They just disconnect themselves from all issues they have been facing by shopping. In addition, it also means to make a stroll because they have to shop around before buying what they are looking for. So, it can be a pleasant activity for people who are impassioned for such a thing. Furthermore, when people go out for this purpose they might come across with acquaintances and friends. Another point it is that when people go shopping it may be a cheap leisure activity if you think about how expensive some leisure activities are. You buy things you are in need and at the same time you are having fun.

Nevertheless, I agree that shopping has little value as a leisure activity. We human beings can be poles apart and for that reason, for others like me going shopping does not signify that you will have fun as a leisure activity by doing it. On the contrary, it conveys a message of a boring activity and even an obligation. It is totally different from going jogging where you effectively alleviate your problems and feel your energy renovated being ready to deal with your problems. Shopping for leisure also shows a sign of becoming a potential addiction for some people who just see it as the only way to circumvent their problems and begin to spend more money than they have.

In conclusion, I believe that shopping as a leisure activity is not a valuable thing. However, as I mentioned before, we live in a world where people are completely different like chalk and cheese. Thus we should respect people choices and tastes. If people feel relaxed and good while doing shopping they should go for it whenever they want.