Correção de texto: The most important invencion ever.

Fiz outra essay hoje,espero que essa tenha ficado melhor ^^.

"Many people say that the internet is the most important invention ever. Do you agree or disagree with this and if not, what do you believe to be more important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion."


Some people believe that the internet is the most important invention of world. But, these people have forgotten that to have internet we need other thing more important: The electricity. I will argument why electricity is more important than internet.

Firstly, without electricity we cannot connecting with internet. Computers, tablets, cellphones and other technologies which are used to access internet, would not exist if there was no electricity. So, Internet has been possible thanks electricity.

Secondly, others technologies have been possible thanks electricity too. A big part of the gadgets and electronic products use electric power to work. Devices are more dependent of this energy increasingly. They also are created by electric energy.

Thirdly, electricity has brought more comfortable and quality of life to the people. we use air conditioner, refrigerator, lamps and other stuffs because we have got using electricity. This stuffs give more cushy for us. We also can having fun with electricity, devices as TV, video games and electronic toys can enjoy ourselves.

With these arguments, I conclude that electricity is the most important discovery ever. We dependent its much more than internet. We need its to survive and to keep creating more inventions and technologies.

Aproveitando esse tópico, gostaria de tirar uma dúvida,eu posso postar todo dia? É porque eu estudo 2 horas de inglês todo dia mas, como minha universidade está em greve, eu estou estudando 3 horas.Então eu tou fazendo uma essay todo dia.Ai queria saber se tem problema eu enviar todo dia,mesmo que vocês não corrijam no mesmo dia claro ^^.
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Sugestões de correção:

Some people believe that the internet is the most important invention in the world. But, these people have forgotten that to have internet we need other things that are more important: Electricity. I will argument why electricity is more important than internet.

Firstly, without electricity we cannot connect with the internet. Computers, tablets, cellphones and other technologies which are used to access internet, would not exist if there was no electricity. So, Internet has been possible thanks to electricity.

Secondly, other technologies have been possible thanks to electricity too. A big part of the gadgets and electronic products use electric power to work. Devices are more dependent on this energy increasingly. They also are created by electric energy.

Thirdly, electricity has brought more comfort and quality of life to people. We use air conditioners, refrigerators, lamps and other stuff because we have got using electricity. This stuff give more cushy for us. We also can having fun with electricity, devices as TV, video games and electronic toys can enjoy ourselves.

With these arguments, I conclude that electricity is the most important discovery ever. We depend on it much more than on the internet. We need it to survive and to keep creating more inventions and technologies.