Correção: Email de resposta para responsável por SPA

Avatar do usuário Lekatre 130 1 2
Em um site de um SPA que minha mãe está interessada em ir tem um link onde você preenche seu email se tiver interesse em maiores informações. Aí a pessoa responsável enviou um email pedindo algumas informações, e este é o email de resposta.

Dear Diane,


Thank you for contacting me. I am writing because I have just read on the internet about your Spa. I would like to receive more information about your weight-loss program, if there is a specific one. If so, what exactly does it include? How much do I have to pay for two weeks in the weight-loss program? I would also like to know if 15 days are enough to lose , at least, about 10 kilos? I am a 52-years-old Brazilian woman, 1,63 meters tall and my weight is around 80 kilograms. As you can see, I am little overweight. I do not like exercising very much, and water sports are not my cup of tea, either. On the other hand, I like dancing, walking, doing yoga and pilates.
I do not have big health problems, except for Hashimoto's thyroiditis, which is already being controlled with the appropriate medicine; and ovarian cysts, which are under surveilance and being treated with contraceptive pills .
I would also like to know if the fact that I do not speak English very well will interfere in anything.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best wishes,

Alessandra
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Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39185 6 32 684
Some just-in-passing opinions of mine:



I would like to receive (or...get) more information about your weight-loss program, if there is a specific one.
(Did you mean "if there is a specific information."? or "if there´s a "specific weight-loss program."?


Perhaps I would like to receive/get more specific information on your weight-loss program, if there´s any.
Perhaps I would like to receive/get more information on your weight-loss program, if there´s any specific program.
(but that´s me, my opinion, though.)



======================================
If so, what exactly does it include? How much do I have to pay for two weeks in it? ("in such program?" - would do as well.)




I would also like to know if 15 days are enough to lose , at least, about 10 kilos? I am a 52-years-old Brazilian woman,... [here 52 years old woman, if you think of talking of her age...]
http://grammarpartyblog.com/2013/04/26/ ... no-hyphen/
Sasha is eight years old.




1,63 meters tall = 5'6'' tall (or.. 5 ft 6 in. tall).
http://www.unitarium.com/blog/articles/ ... sion-table


and my weight is around 80 kilograms (176 lbs) lbs = ponds, here.
http://www.positivehealthsteps.com/poun ... ator.shtml


...and ovarian cysts, which are under follow-up care and being treated with contraceptive pills
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39185 6 32 684
Ah, and be careful with disclosing sensitive personal data, yours or of relatives of yours, unless absolutely necessary. You, perhaps, didn´t need to say it was your mother email, it´s up to you, though. ;)
Avatar do usuário Lekatre 130 1 2
PPAULO escreveu:Some just-in-passing opinions of mine:



I would like to receive (or...get) more information about your weight-loss program, if there is a specific one.
(Did you mean "if there is a specific information."? or "if there´s a "specific weight-loss program."?

Sim, "specific weight-loss program." De fato, ficou meio confuso

Perhaps I would like to receive/get more specific information on your weight-loss program, if there´s any.
Perhaps I would like to receive/get more information on your weight-loss program, if there´s any specific program.
(but that´s me, my opinion, though.)


Prefiro permanecer com o "receive", o 'get' deixaria o email muito informal, assim como a contratação do "there is"., embora ela tenha me permitido usar uma linguagem mais informal ao endereçar minha mãe pelo primeiro nome
======================================
If so, what exactly does it include? How much do I have to pay for two weeks in it? ("in such program?" - would do as well.)

Gostei do "in such program"


I would also like to know if 15 days are enough to lose , at least, about 10 kilos? I am a Brazilian woman,... [here 52 years old woman, if you think of talking of her age...]
http://grammarpartyblog.com/2013/04/26/ ... no-hyphen/
Sasha is eight years old.

Quanto a correção do 52-year-old você se equivocou, pois está correto sim. Você tem certeza que leu o conteúdo do link que você enviou? Eu só errei ao escrever 52-years-old(mas o "s" foi erro de digitação)


1,63 meters tall = 5'6'' tall (or.. 5 ft 6 in. tall).
http://www.unitarium.com/blog/articles/ ... sion-table


and my weight is around 80 kilograms (176 lbs) lbs = ponds, here.
http://www.positivehealthsteps.com/poun ... ator.shtml
Essa parte da conversões, eu realmente não sabia como fazer. Obrigada.

...and ovarian cysts, which are under follow-up care and being treated with contraceptive pills

Eu sabia que "surveilance" não servia, mas não sabia o que usar, obrigada por isso também.


Preferi deixar o email com um tom semi-formal pois minha mãe não a conhece, porém nem tanto, pois comecei com "Dear Diana", exatamente como ela fez, começando com o primeiro nome de minha mãe.


Aqui está o email original, talvez tenha algo mais para ser acrescentado. O telefone não quero enviar, preciso mencionar isso?

Dear Alessandra,

Thank you for your interest in the Pritikin Longevity Center + Spa. We are eager to set you on the right track to peak health via our scientifically proven program.

Our all inclusive program includes 3 healthy meals daily, healthy snacks, cooking classes, eye opening lectures led by board certified doctors, a plethora of optional fitness classes, including Zumba and Yoga, comprehensive medical testing, physician consultations and more.

Are there any particular health concerns you are looking to address during your stay? Please let us know if you have specific dates in mind to visit Pritikin.

Please confirm that you received this email, and provide me with your phone number, if you’d prefer to talk, as I look forward to connecting with you and discussing the results you can expect from a stay with us. We have a wonderful program that I am sure you will enjoy.

Sincerely,
Diane Hansen

Se alguém mais tiver alguma coisa a acrescentar ou mudar, por favor, faça-o.

Obrigada.
Avatar do usuário Rakell Grubert Pere 3385 3 6 65
Só discordo do Paulo em uma coisa, o 52-year-old (Brazilian)woman não está errado, pois o "52-year-old" está modificando o substantivo "woman" portanto tem hífen, a única coisa é que você escreveu 52-years-old, mas acho que deve ter sido erro de digitação. Você escreveu também "Dear Diana", isso deixa o email informal. A não ser que ela tenha se referido a você pelo primeiro nome antes, ela fez isso? Se fez, tudo bem, pode escrever assim.
Avatar do usuário Lekatre 130 1 2
Sim, ela escreveu "Dear Alessandra". Vou fazer as modificações e posto novamente para ver se ainda tem erro. Obrigada a todos.
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39185 6 32 684
Expanding my answer a bit, about the age thing.
Both could be possible, but as I explained before, per explanation from this site:


http://grammarpartyblog.com/2013/04/26/ ... no-hyphen/

If the sentence is simply stating that someone or something is so many years old, then don’t use a hyphen:
Her dad turned sixty years old today.
His baseball card is seventy years old.


In the first sentence, you would not use hyphens. In the second sentence, you would, making it four-year-old boy. This is because the phrase four year old is modifying the noun boy.



If someone thinks simply talking about the age, and takes in account that "Brazilian" is an adjective (albeit a nationality adjective) which the respetive noun that would be Brazil, it wouldn´t take the hyphen.


If one thinks about "woman" would then hyphenate "year-old".


So, I conclude that could be both, and that´s why I cited the "stating age" in my response to the question.


I must confess I had seen and learned it hyphenated, in Brazilian books; so it seemed odd to me, as well. ;)
Avatar do usuário Lekatre 130 1 2
I'm still working on the text, I'm doing some improvements... as soon as it is ready, I'll post it here again.
Thank you!
Avatar do usuário Lekatre 130 1 2
PPAULO escreveu:If someone thinks simply talking about the age, and takes in account that "Brazilian" is an adjective (albeit a nationality adjective) which the respetive noun that would be Brazil, it wouldn´t take the hyphen.


If one thinks about "woman" would then hyphenate "year-old".


So, I conclude that could be both, and that´s why I cited the "stating age" in my response to the question.



If someone thinks simply talking about the age, and takes in account that "Brazilian" is an adjective (albeit a nationality adjective) which the respetive noun that would be Brazil, it wouldn´t take the hyphen.



No, in this case only "52-year-old Brazilian woman" is right; 52 years old Brazilian woman and 52 years old woman are both wrong, as well as 52-year-old-Brazilian woman . The "52-year-old" adjective works like any other one-word adjective modifying the noun woman, then, we only need to follow the order of adjectives:
general opinion -> specific opinion –> size –> shape –> age –> colour –> nationality –> material + noun( in this case, woman). I am a 52-year-old(age) Brazilan( nationality) woman(noun).

It has nothing to do with the fact that there is another adjective between the adjective "52-year-old" and the noun "woman" or not, it must be hiphenated because it comes before the noun and it is modifying it. It won't be hiphenated if it comes after the noun.

He is a nice, intelligent five-year-old Italian boy.

There’s a general rule: if the ages are being used as adjectives or nouns, use hyphens.

The five-year-old boy wanted the red balloon. (“Five-year-old” is hyphenated because it’s an adjective that modifies the noun “boy.”)

Rudolph is a two-year-old reindeer. (“Two-year-old” is hyphenated because it’s an adjective that modifies the noun “reindeer.”)
You can also use hyphens with implied nouns. For example, since you already know Rudolph is a reindeer, you could say “Rudolph is a two-year-old.” The hyphenated phrase “two-year-old” is essentially modifying the noun you left out: “reindeer.” You can also think of "two-year-old" as a noun--and nouns are usually hyphenated.

However, if the age comes after the noun (or after a noun and a verb, such as "Rudolph is" below), then it doesn’t need a hyphen because it isn't directly modifying the noun.

Rudolph is two years old.

Our pug is 12 years old.

- See more at: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/educat ... NwF9y.dpuf
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Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39185 6 32 684
Point conveyed, indeed it´s a bit tricky to understand in a quick reading. I had made confusion with the others examples of the use of hyphen (there are some examples that follows, in wich one can use it without hyphen, but then it´s another can of worm altogheter). So, you guys are right in the use of it in the current topic, thanks for sharing your views, and for the corrections of yours.




========================================================================================
Indeed, I had misunderstood with the follwing ones:


http://blog.dictionary.com/hyphen/

Age terms are another stumbling point for many. The hyphenation in the following two examples is appropriate: I have to babysit my three-year-old cousin; he has a five-year-old.
However, in the following sentence in which the age comes after (rather than before) the noun it modifies, no hyphenation is needed: Sheila is seven years old. One trick of the trade is to look for the plural of “years” in such constructions. If the word “years” is plural, chances are the construction does not need hyphenation.



Combined with the Chicago Manual table
http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/16/ ... _tab01.pdf




https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/735/02/
ages
For ages, always use figures. If the age is used as an adjective or as a substitute for a noun, then it should be hyphenated. Don’t use apostrophes when describing an age range. Examples: A 21-year-old student. The student is 21 years old. The girl, 8, has a brother, 11. The contest is for 18-year-olds. He is in his 20s.