Michelle Obama and Women's human rights

Hello people, I need a second opinion about my text , so If someone can help me, I thank

Text:
Michelle Obama not is only the first African-American to be the First Lady of the United States as is also an American lawyer and writer, graduated in major US universities ,Harvard and Princeton.
In several speeches Lady Michelle shows her struggle for Women's human rights, which is something that over the years achieved many achievements, but still a long way to go.
In the last 100 years women have come in search of equality rights enters women and men, today women can vote, apply for key positions until even to study. The role of women today has changed, they are no longer just housewives or puppets for men, women today are businesswomen and nowadays women can work.
Women show today as we are able and we have the same abilities of men, but of course that is there is still a great way for to stop the discrimination that still exists, so we women can live without fear and without the need to please anyone but just ourselves.
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Avatar do usuário gian2hard 2270 1 7 50
Hi Railima

A primeiro correção vc pode ver o que foi mudado, a segunda é sem as mudanças.

Hello people, I've written this short text and I'd appreciate your feedback!

Michelle Obama is not is only the first African-American to be the First Lady of the United States as is but is also an American a lawyer and a writer who graduated in major US from two Ivy League universities, Harvard and Princeton.
In several of her speeches, First Lady Michelle showed her struggle support for the Women's human rights movement, which is something that over the years achieved many achievements which has accomplished so much over the years, but still has long way to go.
In the last 100 years, women have come in search of equality rights fought for equal rights between men and women. Today, women can vote, apply for key positions until even to and even study. The role of women today has changed, they are no longer just housewives or puppets for men, women today are not only part of the working class, but are also businesswoman and leaders. businesswomen and nowadays women can work.
Today, women have shown that they are capable of working just as hard as any men, and that they possess the same abilities,
Women show today as we are able and we have the same abilities of men, but of course that there is still great way for to stop the discrimination that still exists, a long road ahead before discrimination vanishes into existence so that we, women, can live without the fear and without the need to please anyone but just ourselves.


Michelle Obama is not only the first African-American to be the First Lady of the United States, but is also a lawyer and a writer who graduated from two Ivy League universities, Harvard and Princeton.
In several of her speeches, First Lady Michelle showed her support for the Women's rights movement, which has accomplished so much over the years, but still has long way to go.
In the last 100 years, women have fought for equal rights between men and women. Today, women can vote, apply for key positions and even study. The role of women in society today has changed, they are no longer just housewives or puppets for men, women today are not only part of the working class, but are also businesswoman and leaders.
Today, women have shown that they are capable of working just as hard as any men, and that they possess the same abilities, but of course, there is still a long road ahead before discrimination vanishes into existence so that we, women, can live without the fear and without the need to please anyone but ourselves.
Avatar do usuário Redseahorse 7980 1 13 143
Sugestões:

Michelle Obama IS NOT only the first African-American to be the First Lady of the United States, SHE is also A lawyer and writer GRADUATED FROM TWO OF THE MOST REPUTABLE universities IN THE USA: Harvard and Princeton.
In several speeches, Michelle shows her struggle for Women's human rights, which is something that over the years HAVE achieved many OF ITS OBJECTIVES, but THERE´S still a long way to go.
In the PAST HUNDRED years, women have BEEN DEMANDING FOR GENDER equality rights. NOWADAYS, women can vote, apply for key positions AND EVEN study. TODAY, the role of women has changed, they are NOT just housewives or puppets for men ANYMORE, THEY are businesswomen and THEY can work.
TODAY, women DEMONSTRATE THAT we are able and we have the same abilities of men, but of course, there is still a LONG way for STOPPING the discrimination that still exists, so we women can live without fear and the need OF PLEASING OTHERS, but just ourselves.

congrats!
Avatar do usuário gian2hard 2270 1 7 50
Just a small correction to my correction, I meant to say "vanishes out from existence" and not vanish into existence, which is complete nonsense :p
Thanks guys this helped a lot :D